As a teacher, I am at times required
(or I volunteer) to go on student trips. I've taken students to places both
domestic (Washington, D.C., New York City, Orlando) and international (England,
Scotland, Germany, Spain). Yet not one of these trips is as memorable as the
Night of Terror.
Prior to having children of my own I was coaching our school's varsity
girls basketball team. The team desperately needed new uniforms. So
instead of badgering the booster club, I figured I'd take matters into my
own hands. I rummaged up a babysitting opportunity at a family conference
center up in Northern PA that would pay $1000 in exchange for two days of
babysitting for several families attending a conference. Lodging and food was
provided at the facility, we just needed to find our way up there. So myself,
another teacher named Jackie, and six of my basketball girls piled into a
school van and we headed north.
The first evening we spent playing with the little kids, putting
together puzzles, coloring, running relay races. A successful evening, all in all. Then the director of the conference center gave us directions to our lodging. It wasn't on the main campus (which
should have been our first red flag), it was a-ways up in the woods. So in the spreading darkness of night and through dense foliage, we drove our 15-passenger van around in the wooded hinterlands for what seemed like hours. Finally, we found it.
An octagonal building with a cement slab for a front porch; a 1970's sliding
door with cloudy glass its only entrance.
We hitched our duffle-bags up higher on our shoulders and stepped inside. Through the gloom we saw a common area (which we called with little endearment
"The Pit") with recessed flooring and cushioned benches around its
edges. A fireplace stood at one end. And from the raftered ceiling stringing
down to the bottom of the pit hung massive cobwebs--flapping and drifting from
the draft we had allowed in.
I will take this opportunity to mention that I am
an arachnophobe. I hate, hate, hate spiders. Loath them. The tiny ones
I've learned to deal with, but anything dime-sized and larger my hands start to
shake and I may or may not emit horrible, feral sounds.
So being greeted by these monstrous cobwebs made me a little jumpy.
Yet in an effort to look cool not
alert my girls to any of my misgivings, I smiled and said, "Let's find the
bedrooms."
We walked down the hallway to our left. The
hall, lined with doors, snaked around the entire circumference of the
building. Each of the doors opened to a bedroom packed with two to three sets
of bunk beds. There were at least 8 bedrooms and only 1 bathroom to share
amongst us.
"I need the bathroom!" declared one of the girls
named Nicki.
That's when the screaming started.
"There are huge spiders all over the bathroom!" Nicki
shrieked.
"There's spiders on the walls of this bedroom!" shrieked
another.
"And in this bedroom!" shrieked a third.
And I froze. I stood in the hallway clutching my duffle and
expecting to die. My heart hammered up in my throat. My stomach contracted as
though bracing for a punch. Oxygen was in short supply. I opened my eyes and
saw Jackie looking as white as flour--which is most likely how I appeared as
well.
Come on, Anna, I thought to myself. You're the adult here. Act like it. I tried to wriggle free of my terror by rallying the troops.
"Right, girls, this is the plan," I said and launched
into action. "We're piling into 1 room. This room--" I pointed to the
room with 3 bunkbeds in it. "Move the beds to the center of the room, away
from all the walls, and butt them up to each other so it makes one massive bunkbed. Then we will sleep all together: 4 across the top and 4
across the bottom. Let's move!"
My rallying cry brought a flurry of activity and soon we had our
bunkbed island constructed. By then it was late--well past midnight--and after
using the bathroom in pairs (1 person to ward off arachnids and 1 person
to...do her business) we all crawled into our sleeping bags and rooched around
til everyone got comfortable without knocking someone else off the bed. I was
on the top bunk between Nicki and Jackie. I may just as well have been
preparing for a blizzard with all the layers I was wearing. I pulled the hood
of my sweatshirt up over my head, tied tight it's drawstring under my chin, and hunkered down inside my sleeping bag so that not a speck of me
was exposed to the outside world. While I was sweating profusely, I
wasn't about to leave my cocoon.
Until Nicki nudged me.
"Do you hear that?" she whispered.
"What?" I answered, my head still inside my sleeping
bag.
"That."
I sighed, poked my head free of my cocoon.
"Listen," whispered Nicki.
All was silent. Then thunk. scratch, scratch, scratch,
scratch, scratch sounded on
the roof above us.
"What is that?" I asked and looked over at Jackie.
She peered back at me and I thought she might cry. I know I wanted
to. We heard it again. It sounded like little mice or squirrels dropping onto
the metal roof and then running, running, running with their little rodent feet.
"It's outside," Jackie finally said.
"So I guess Plan B is out," Nicki mumbled.
"What was Plan B?" I asked.
"Sleep in the van." Nicki yawned. "I'm not going outside now."
"So I guess Plan B is out," Nicki mumbled.
"What was Plan B?" I asked.
"Sleep in the van." Nicki yawned. "I'm not going outside now."
"Right," I nodded. The only thing to worry about at that point was the spiders, and I ducked my head back under my covers, listened to the
rodent circus rioting above us until finally at some point I fell asleep.
Morning dawned bright. Sunlight poured through the branches of the
surrounding forest. Songbirds chorused in welcome of the new day. But I didn't enjoy any of it because I was stiff and exhausted and desperately needing coffee in a
land where none was to be found. We all got up, participated in the buddy
system again for bathroom usage, threw our belongings into our bags, and plodded out to the van.
There was not a spider in sight--these were evidently nocturnal
spiders--but on the front porch were several chickens clucking about. I stopped
causing Jackie to nearly collide into the back of me.
"What?" she asked, peering around my shoulder.
"Chickens," I answered.
"Of course."
We walked outside and the chickens scuttered away. Then I turned
and looked up at the roof. I started to laugh and called to Jackie, pointing. "Walnuts."
The rodent circus was actually walnuts falling onto the roof and
rolling down. Amazing how everything is far less threatening in daylight.
We all piled in the van and started to pull away.
"Wait!" Nicki yelled when we were about 50 yards from
the cabin. "I think I forgot my towel in the bathroom!"
"You think you forgot it? Or you did forget it?" I
asked.
"I did forget it," she said.
I put the van in park. "Okay. Hurry up."
She hopped from the van and sprinted toward the cabin. Then more
screaming began. Jackie and I and several of the girls jumped out and ran back
to see the new crisis Nicki had encountered. About 20 yards from the cabin we froze.
A buck with a massive rack was at the door of the cabin. The
sliding door was opened just a crack. The deer had its antlers wedged into the crack
and was swinging its head from side to side to try and open further the door.
It pawed the ground with its front hoof and huffed and grunted with its
efforts. I saw Nicki through the glass door standing with her towel
trailing from her hand. She looked out at me, her eyes wide. Then she did something amazing. She took that towel and started to flap it. Like
a matador shaking a red cape at a bull, Nicki shook that towel in
the buck's face and started screaming at the animal. Then we all started to
scream at it. Jackie ran back to the van and blasted the horn. The buck jerked
its head back from the door, scrambled down off the porch and galloped into the
woods.
Nicki walked from the cabin, dragging her towel behind her, and
stood on the porch. The chickens came clucking back from wherever they had
hidden themselves.
"I left the door open only a crack," she said. She
sidestepped the chickens and walked toward us. We all silently filed back to
the still-running van.
"You must really want those new uniforms," Jackie
said.
"I'm reconsidering," I answered, shifted the van into drive, and prayed that wherever we ended
up there'd be coffee waiting.
That was hilarious, Anna. The spiders reminded me of the bathroom in a farmers' co-operative in a neighboring town. It has a shower in it so the guys can wash off farm chemicals if they have spills, but that bathroom has almost a solid mat of fiddle-back spider webs in it, especially the shower. So, so disgusting.
ReplyDeleteAnd the buck? Why was it trying to get inside, I wonder?
But most importantly, did you ever find coffee?
Haha! I did get coffee and I have NO idea why that buck was so intent on getting inside the cabin. My first thought was that it had rabies. Can deer get rabies? I'm not enough of a sportsman to know these things. I just scream at animals (and spiders) and hope that makes them go away. So glad you enjoyed the story, Danni! (And if I ever come to OK, I'm steering clear of the farmers' co-operative. Thanks for the warning.)
DeleteGreat story Anna! Was Murphy's law in full effect, or what? I'm still shaking off the images of the spiders. Ick.
ReplyDeleteMurphy's Law was indeed in full swing! To this day it is one of the most bazaar experiences I've ever had! So glad you enjoyed it, Stevie!
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